When Survival Meant Adapting
Growing up in a dysfunctional family changes the way we move through the world. We became caretakers, over-achievers, perfectionists—reading between the lines, anticipating everyone else’s needs before our own.
Maybe you:
Struggle to set boundaries without guilt.
​
Feel responsible for managing other people’s emotions.
​
Constantly give more than you receive in relationships.
​
Feel exhausted from being "the strong one" but don't know how to stop.
Have a hard time asking for help or even knowing what you need.
These patterns didn’t come from nowhere. They were your survival strategies. But now, they may be keeping you from the deeper peace, connection, and self-trust you truly deserve.
How Family Trauma Shapes Us
When you grow up in a family where emotions weren’t safe, love felt conditional, or chaos was the norm, your nervous system adapts to survive. Over time, this can lead to patterns that impact your relationships, self-worth, and emotional well-being.
CODEPENDENCY
You may find yourself constantly putting others first at your own expense, feeling responsible for their happiness, and struggling to say no. Your sense of worth might feel tied to how much you do for others, making it hard to prioritize yourself without guilt.
Healing is about breaking the cycle, not blaming the past.
My Approach
I combine Internal Family Systems (IFS), trauma-informed therapy, and 12-step recovery principles to help you heal at the root. Therapy isn’t just about talking—it’s about rewiring the patterns that no longer serve you.
​
IFS (Internal Family Systems)
Helping you connect with the parts of yourself that have been stuck in survival mode.
12-Step Recovery & Spiritual Exploration
For those navigating addiction, codependency, or compulsive behaviors, we’ll explore how spiritual principles—whether from 12-step recovery or your own personal beliefs—can guide you toward freedom.
​
Somatic & Nervous System Healing
Because healing isn’t just intellectual—it’s something we feel in our bodies.
​
What is Codependency?
It can look like caretaking, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or always putting others first.
What are Compulsive Behaviors?
This could include excessive screen time, doom scrolling, online shopping, or anything used to numb discomfort. ​​
How Therapy Can Help
You don’t have to stay stuck in these patterns. Together, we’ll work to:
​
Unpack Family Patterns
Understand how your upbringing shaped your beliefs, behaviors, and relationships.
​
Heal Emotional Wounds
Process grief, anger, and the unmet needs from your past.
​
Reclaim Your Voice
Learn to set boundaries without guilt and prioritize your needs.
​
Break Free from Codependency
Shift from over-functioning and people-pleasing to balanced, healthy relationships.
​
Find a New Way Forward
Rewrite the old stories that tell you your worth is tied to what you do for others.
​
FAQs: Recovery From Family Dysfunction/Trauma
1. I don’t know if what I went through counts as trauma. Does this still apply to me?
​
Absolutely. Many of us grew up in families where love felt conditional, emotions weren’t welcome, or we had to become the responsible one too soon. That might not have looked like “trauma” from the outside, but it still shaped how you relate to yourself and others. If you're constantly bracing, scanning for what others need, or losing touch with your own voice, that’s your nervous system trying to protect you. That’s trauma. And it can heal.
​
2. What if I feel numb or disconnected from my emotions?​
That’s a completely natural response to living in survival mode. In IFS, we understand this as a protector part doing its best to keep you from feeling overwhelmed. Therapy creates a safe space to gently reconnect with your internal world—so you can hear the parts of you that have been silenced or hidden for a long time.
​
3. I’ve built a life that looks fine on the outside. Why do I still feel so anxious, empty, or stuck?
You’re not alone in that feeling. Many women who come to me are highly capable, successful, and the go-to person in their families or communities. But under all the “functioning” is often a deep sense of depletion or disconnection. Recovery is about shifting out of performance and into presence. It’s learning to live from your authentic self—not just the parts that got you through.
​
4. I’m afraid if I open the door to all this, I’ll fall apart.
That fear makes sense. If you had to stay strong for everyone else growing up, the idea of letting go or feeling deeply can be terrifying. But therapy isn’t about tearing it all open at once. It’s a steady, supported process. In IFS, we go at the pace that your system can handle, with compassion for every part that’s trying to keep you safe.
​
5. What if I don’t even know what I need?
That’s one of the most common things I hear. If no one ever asked how you felt, or your needs were minimized, you probably learned to stop asking yourself too. In therapy, we begin to unlearn that. You don’t have to have the answers when you arrive. That’s what this space is for.
​
6. Is it too late to change these patterns?
Not at all. No matter how long you’ve been carrying these survival strategies, it’s never too late to build a new relationship with yourself. In recovery work, we don’t erase the past—we learn from it, tend to the pain it caused, and stop letting it run the show. Healing starts the moment you stop trying to do it all alone.
You Deserve More Than Just Survival
For so long, you’ve been carrying the weight of your past without realizing there’s another way. Healing from family trauma and codependency isn’t about doing more—it’s about unlearning the belief that you have to earn your worth.
You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s talk about what healing can look like for you.